can I die? 5-4-08

I'm offically in pain!!! Deb came to the ranch and helped out with Dusty. All was well, at first.... we actually got her saddled and both rode her around the yard without any temper tantrums, haha ya that was short lived. I got on her for the second time and wanted to see how well she did without deb walking beside us. ... That was a huge mistake!! gurrr the crazy horse galloped straight for the bard siding., i knew what she was trying to do *been there done that* she wanted to get be off so she was going to try and scrap me off my using the barn wall. I managed to change her direction and well she decided to bolt for the stallions pin.. *GREAT* we went flying around the corner and I knew I had to bale off or get rammed into the pin she she was heading for. I didn't want the latter to happen, so I opted to bale off... well I am paying for it!! I had thought that I landed with some dignity considering the situation. I did an emergency dismount, but the horse kept going... well dumb me.. I didn't let go of the reins when I came off her and well I did a right side body drag!.. I didn't think i hit my head but the scratch on my forehead says other wise. I am going to pay deraly for hanging on.. my amr and shoulder feel like they were riped outa socket, and as for the rest of me... well I hope I heal and don't have any medical problems later. I had the wind knocked outa me and I still couldn't talk of move from where i was standing. I still had a hold of the crazy horse and was standing up when Deb got to me. She took the horse and kinda chuckled when she saw me. I was covered in mud! I'm telling ya I had to inside out my coat and sit on it to go home!. well I couldn't move for a few minutes and Deb tied the horse back up. I told deb that I had to some how get back on her casue u can't let a horse get away with what she did.. I limped back to the hitching post and had deb hold the horse still while I got back on her... ahhh the pain!!! I wanted to just die there... I can't believe how much pain I'm in! I have never felt pain like this!!!! EVER! well she did stand still and didn't put up a fit so I left it at that and got off her. I put all her tack away and deb brushed and put her away. I was in so much pain I couldn't walk well and I couldn't drive... *sigh* what a night. we came home and I had to peel off my clothes and some how manage to get into the shower.. * that was hard and yes I cried* after I soaked for 20 min in hot water I got out and deb set a heating pad on my bed for me. I have been on it ever since without moving. (partly cause I get relief form pain and partly cause i couldn't move if my life depended on it. I work tomorrow and I'm not sure how thats going to go. I'm still in so much pain!! its three hours later and I'm no better... I could cry non stop if people wasn't here (family). If I don't feel better in a week I'll get my hip and back checked out.. speaking of hip dad finally got a MRI on his hip and the docs found that it is deteriorating and that it has cits in the joint. *its really bad and he needs surgery like yesterday* so hopefully he is getting surgery soon and will be on the road to recovery..
Today before the horse... I helped dad work on the dance floor. We are currently having to re level the entire floor, one floor joint at a time. I know how to use a builders level now so I've been shooting the measurements and fun stuff like that. well since this is all getting typed form my cell phone I'm tired.. and the pain is really intense... Love to All Dream Sweet !~ Julie!~